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No pressure, 2023

i.

It took me longer than I’d care to admit that my 2022 was actually a rewarding year filled with accomplishments. I spent the first several months wallowing in a funk of my own making. The pernicious ability of those self-made funks blinds any who suffer through them from realizing objective truth. While you could be having the best year ever, the funk will darken your skies and spew bile all over your victories. It’s a deadly beast with razor claws and a hunger for happiness.

I say, “Screw that funk!” What’s it ever really done for anyone? It’s high time that I shout out that 2022 was, on the whole, a success. I may not have achieved everything I set out to do in my Year of Just a Little Bit Happier, but I did live up to the name of my chosen theme: I am just a little bit happier.

It took a lot of work to get there, and I’d be remiss if I didn’t acknowledge how helpful it’s been to start seeing a doctor regularly again and getting on an effective antidepressant. Thank you, escitalopram! If someone had asked me about taking such a medication at this time last year, I probably would have given it a thoughtful brush-off. I’m glad that I realized how helpful it could be. I won’t give it credit for everything—I think I’ve done some positive work—but it’s been a helpful tool.

As always, this is a journey I’m on, and I don’t think there will ever be a lasting destination, but I’m taking positive steps.

ii.

At the beginning of last year, I endeavored to bring positivity back into my life. I figured that positivity would breed happiness within myself. Such a simple math equation wasn’t going to shake the world, but it worked out for me. I had a long list of ideas I wanted to try out that would shape the overall structure of last year. Let’s grade them now.

  • Try to recognize how I’m feeling. Don’t hide from the stress. Confront my frustrations. Consider how I react to myself and other people when overwhelmed. Try again if I slip up.

Success! This will be a never-ending process, but at least I’m starting to consider what’s going on inside my mind a lot more than I ever did before. I need to keep this one up.

  • Get better at respecting the limitations I impose on my social media time.

Success! I’ve gotten this down to an acceptable level, i.e., nearly nothing. It’s had the most profound effect on my life. As much as possible, I’d like to get “nearly nothing” down to zero.

  • Learn and become adept at Swift.

Failure. Learning how to program has been difficult for me. I don’t know if that’s because I’m having trouble comprehending its concepts or if it’s just not for me.

  • Continue watching loads of movies.

Success! Last year, I watched three hundred and thirty-three films. It’s probably the most I’ve ever seen in a year, and I’m proud of this accomplishment; movies are an essential part of my life. I may not go for a similar number this year, but I’ll be watching a lot of interesting stories.

  • Work on planning my honeymoon.

Failure. My honeymoon continues to be a victim of COVID. It’s hard to think about such a grand undertaking when there’s still such a great health risk. Since this illness will go away, I’m going to have to learn to be okay with traveling again.

  • Read more fun books.

Success! What a success! Since I started tracking how many books I read each year, the most I ever achieved was twelve. Last year, I read thirty-two. Reading has always been a passion, so I’m thrilled with how this went. I attribute this number to my decreased time on social media.

  • Devote more time to connecting with people on Micro.blog.

Failure. Objectively, I didn’t do well with this at all. Frankly, I don’t feel too bad about it. I love everyone on Micro.blog, but removing social media from my life means I’m missing out on half of the experience there. At this point in my life, that feels like an acceptable trade-off. In a way, this failure is also a success.

  • Say yes to more things and, conversely, say no to more things.

Neutral. Honestly, we should all probably be saying no to more things. Time is precious. I’m going to keep practicing this one.

  • Improve my sleep schedule.

Neutral. I don’t often feel worn out, but my increasing number of afternoon naps probably says a lot.

  • Get more fresh air in my lungs.

Neutral. Not a failure, but I’d still like to spend more time outside (weather permitting).

iii.

I feel heartened by my progress with last year’s theme. I found a good direction in which to head, and I’d like to continue this positivity.

That said, there are still some aspects of my life that could use some adjusting. My focus on the areas listed above has meant that I lacked focus on other important parts. While mental health was an important consideration I was making last year, I let my physical health slip further. I may currently be in the worst physical shape of my life. Early 20s Sean would not be happy with mid-30s Sean. He’d probably also be running easy laps around my currently huffing self.

I need to adjust and fix that which has gotten out of balance.

With that in mind, I’ve decided that 2023 will be my Year of Recalibration. I will strive to improve a few key parts of my life that need to head back in the right direction. I won’t have such a long list as last year. Honestly, I think I let it get out of hand. The relatively small number of goals I’ll focus on will be enough of a challenge.

iv.

I’m going to spend my recalibration year working on these areas:

  • Endeavor to lose weight.

Ideally, this will mean losing an average of a pound a week throughout 2023. If I can lose fifty-two pounds by the end of the year, then I’ll be ecstatic and proud of myself. As ever, the goal I’m setting isn’t a line drawn in the sand. I want to lose weight; the total amount isn’t the most important aspect.

  • Find a satisfying job.

Many of my mental health issues stem from my lack of a reliable and healthy income. This needs to change, both for my current well-being and my future financial security. If that can be done with a job that’s also personally fulfilling, then all the better.

  • Further explore the world of transcendent music.

Last year, I devoted a lot of time to watching great movies and tv shows and reading excellent books. Most of my listening time goes toward podcasts. But I also love music and would like to find more inspiring audio. If I’m going to pay so much for Apple Music every month, then I should get all I can out of the service.

  • Continue to work on understanding how I’m feeling.

This should go without saying, but it’s an important reminder. I don’t want to squander what I accomplished last year by losing focus on what I feel and how I react to the world around me.

Last year has passed and another year is staring us straight in the face. It’s impossible to know what 2023 might bring us,1 but what we can do is try to make the most out of what happens. The hopeful guidelines of my theme this year will give me a good path to start following.

Here’s to a wonderful year for us all!

  1. Please, please, please no more Twitter nonsense. ↩︎

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Letterboxd Diaries—December 2022

Total movies watched: 31.

Favorite movie of the month: Burning. But also, Weird: The Al Yankovic Story and Confess, Fletch were absolute delights.

Worst movie of the month: Lucy and Amsterdam. The first was just tripe and the second was a waste of an amazing cast.

Be sure to follow me on Letterboxd! 🎥

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Best of luck to everybody as we all accidentally write 2022 instead of 2023 on our various documents, checks, and other assorted date lines for a while.

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Happy 2023, everybody!

Mine started off right: The incessant (and very welcome) rain that’s been falling throughout the night has kept people inside and away from their terrible fireworks.

What better way to ring this one in?

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I don’t care about TikTok—I don’t and won’t use it—but the legitimate and renewed concern about its safety is fascinating.

A part of me wants to see it banned in the U.S. for nothing else than to see what would happen when a service of that size is suddenly not available.

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Merry Christmas! I hope you all have a lovely day.

I wouldn’t wish for you the frigid and snowy weather that the eastern part of my country is dealing with, but I’m also not wishing for the mid-80° weather we have in Southern California. Winter wonderland, my butt.

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‘Luddite’ Teens Don’t Want Your Likes ↗

From Alex Vadukul at the New York Times:1

For the first time, [Logan Lane, the 17-year-old founder of the Luddite Club,] experienced life in the city as a teenager without an iPhone. She borrowed novels from the library and read them alone in the park. She started admiring graffiti when she rode the subway, then fell in with some teens who taught her how to spray-paint in a freight train yard in Queens. And she began waking up without an alarm clock at 7 a.m., no longer falling asleep to the glow of her phone at midnight. Once, as she later wrote in a text titled the “Luddite Manifesto,” she fantasized about tossing her iPhone into the Gowanus Canal.

Some stories hit you at the right time in your life and bring your emerging (or well-cultivated, as the case may be) worldview into greater focus. You might, for instance, be sitting at your kitchen table waiting for your dinner to finish cooking and happen on an article about a bunch of Brooklyn teens who have eschewed the trappings of modern online society in favor of less technology and more tree-gazing.

Vee De La Cruz, who had a copy of “The Souls of Black Folk” by W.E.B. Du Bois, said: “You post something on social media, you don’t get enough likes, then you don’t feel good about yourself. That shouldn’t have to happen to anyone. Being in this club reminds me we’re all living on a floating rock and that it’s all going to be OK.”

I’m not about to throw my iPhone out a window and replace it with a flip phone, nor do I think it’s particularly valuable to put too much stock into something like the preventably tragic story of Chris McCandless. That’s just me; these kids can take it as far as they please. But I do think that the broader lesson of spending more time with your eyes directed at the world or in a book is a powerful one.

Written in the article is a concern amongst the teenagers about this endeavor being seen as classist by their peers. I feel the concern is overblown and inspired by a misguided sense of what “classist” can mean. Is it not classist to require a phone, especially a smartphone, to be “included in society”? The derision these people are facing surely comes from a lack of understanding. It’s a shame that such a harmless thing would garner such ridicule, but I guess that comes with teenage territory. Again, they should do as they please.

I especially appreciate the closing of the article:

As they marched through the dark, the only light glowing on their faces was that of the moon.

  1. Which surely ham-fisted that haughty title onto the reporter’s article. ↩︎

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Cat Clinging To Side Of Christmas Tree Admits That Was Extent Of Plan ↗

“Okay, so I’ve jumped halfway up the trunk of the tree and dug my nails into the bark, but now what?” said the cat, who pondered whether pissing on the trunk or screeching at the top of his lungs would be the best next step forward.

Oh Butterscotch, you furry, gorgeous fool.

After all the global nonsense of the last… Well, let’s just say the last couple of decades, I’ve come to the realization that the only publication worth reading is The Onion. It truly is “America’s Finest News Source.”

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Biden signs gay marriage bill at White House ceremony ↗

From Chris Megerian at The Associated Press:

President Joe Biden signed gay marriage legislation into law Tuesday before a crowd of thousands, a ceremony that reflected growing acceptance of same-sex unions.

“This law and the love it defends strike a blow against hate in all its forms,” Biden said on the South Lawn of the White House. “And that’s why this law matters to every single American.”

Often, the news I read isn’t very happy or life-affirming. This story is not one of those sad pieces. This is a “finally” that is well worth celebrating. With this law, we’re continuing to move in the correct direction.

Love wins, as it always will.

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Apple advances user security with powerful new data protections ↗

From Apple Newsroom:

Apple today introduced three advanced security features focused on protecting against threats to user data in the cloud, representing the next step in its ongoing effort to provide users with even stronger ways to protect their data. With iMessage Contact Key Verification, users can verify they are communicating only with whom they intend. With Security Keys for Apple ID, users have the choice to require a physical security key to sign in to their Apple ID account. And with Advanced Data Protection for iCloud, which uses end-to-end encryption to provide Apple’s highest level of cloud data security, users have the choice to further protect important iCloud data, including iCloud Backup, Photos, Notes, and more.

For a company that touts a claim of superior privacy protection over all of its competitors, not providing end-to-end encryption of all iCloud data capable of being encrypted1 was a glaring and shameful hole in its messaging. Their marketing said one thing and their actions another. As we should all know, words don’t mean anything when they’re not backed up with action.

While all three features are fantastic, the most notable is the Advanced Data Protection for iCloud. I’m going to turn this on2 as soon as I reasonably can. I feel confident in my safeguards against data loss, i.e., I’ve made sure to memorize my Apple account information and have that safely backed up elsewhere. If I sound anything like you, then I’d recommend doing the same.

Good on Apple for doing this.

  1. iCloud Mail, Contacts, and Calendar are unable to be encrypted. These can’t be to ensure that they’ll work with other systems. ↩︎

  2. It does appear to be an opt-in service. ↩︎

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I can’t tell if the movies I’ve been watching lately are genuinely too long for their stories or if I’ve just been getting grumpier as I age.

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Letterboxd Diaries—November 2022

Total movies watched: 31.

Favorite movie of the month: After Yang.

Worst movie of the month: High-Rise.

Be sure to follow me on Letterboxd! 🎥

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Oscars 2023 Will Include All 23 Categories Presented Live on Air ↗

From Variety:

Bill Kramer, CEO of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences, announced the news exclusively to Variety Tuesday morning. “I can confirm that all categories will be included in the live telecast,” he said.

This is welcome news after the utter nonsense from last year’s ceremony. It was clear from the outset that there had to be better ways of increasing interest in the Oscars show than stripping the winners and nominees of eight categories of their rightful time in the spotlight.

Who knows if the Academy will ever be able to figure out how to win back their awards show viewers,1 but I do know that slighting hard-working artists of the filmmaking industry was not the way to do it.

  1. Although I’m betting that 2023’s broadcast will be well-watched by people hoping for another train wreck after the bullshit from 2022’s show. ↩︎

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My first bout of post-Thanksgiving food exercise this year was… Well, let’s just say there was a lot of sweating and huffing involved.

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The urge to join the crowd and sign up for an alternative social network was weirdly strong for a moment. What’s more important is reminding myself that any social media is an exhausting thing for me.

I don’t need another place on which to waste my time. I’d rather read a book!

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I just finished my twenty-fifth book of this year. It was the incredible Sea of Tranquility by Emily St. John Mandel. For some, that may a small drop in a large bucket. For others, a towering amount.

For me, it’s the most I’ve read in a single year in a long time. I think my younger self would be proud.

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One of the worst things about Musk, an increasingly despicable person, buying Twitter, an already terrible place, is the amount of news stories that pop up whenever anything related to either happens. Anecdotally, I’d give a conservative estimate of a 1,000% increase in them.

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Letterboxd Diaries—October 2022

Total movies watched: 31.

Favorite movie of the month: Booksmart. Business Proposal was also amazing, but it’s not a movie. Honorable mention, though.

Worst movie of the month: Jurassic World Dominion.

Be sure to follow me on Letterboxd! 🎥

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The location-based alerts in Reminders are, I think, going to be what finally gets me to stop using Things for good.

A lapse of memory made me miss something on a recent shopping trip. Reminders would have prevented it; the long-stagnating Things did not.

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In addition to my previous post, the brilliant theme song for Succession may be one of the most invigorating and eminently listenable pieces of music I’ve ever heard.

Composer Nicholas Britell should be better known than they already are.